Monday, December 01, 2008
There is always hope for Lily......
And so the holiday decorations come out of their boxes, and the same wish comes from my heart......"Please let these be the last holidays as a family of 3, let Lily be in our home by the next holiday season...."
As we start our 32nd month of "officially" waiting for our referral of a baby from China, I found this post on a message board I read daily. It is a message board full of waiting parents who are adopting from China and families who have already brought their children home from China.
This is the post that struck a cord with me:
"To those of you waiting, even though the wait is LONG...cherish that feeling of anticipation that comes with waiting for your child.
This is your story...the one you will forever tell at the holidays with your family around the table.
My husband and I have decided that our family is complete with our 3 lovely daughters.
We started our adoption journey back in 2001. While waiting for my first daughter, I found an adorable ornament that was a tiny teacup with a little Asian girl with black pigtails sitting inside the teacup.
Every year since 2001, that ornament has graced my Christmas tree, always symbolizing the next angel that we were waiting to bring home. It was on our tree for two Christmases while we waited for our 1st daughter, then for two Christmases while we waited for our 2nd daughter, then for three Christmases while we waited for our 3rd daughter.
This morning as we decorated our tree, my husband pulled out that ornament and asked if I still wanted to hang it on the tree. I felt such a pang of emptiness. I am beyond happy that our family is complete, but yet there is nothing like that glow of anticipation I always felt in my stomach waiting for our next family member. Wondering about the future...who that person would be. Excitement in wondering what it would be like to have a complete family.
And now I have complete family, and it's a little sad to think that I will never be that waiting parent again. I will never be able to wonder about rumors, and what my child will look like.
That feeling of looking at the referral photo for the first time. That feeling of wondering if there will be any surprises along the journey. I am so excited for what my future brings, and yet sometimes I wish I could cherish that feeling of anticipation just a little while longer.
For what it's worth, the ornament is on my tree again this year, for all the warm memories it brings back to me as I look back at my family.
Cherish whatever you do to get through the long wait until you meet your child....years from now it will be a fond memory.
signed screen name 3xw"
This is EXACTLY what I needed to read, to "make it through" this holiday season, and to cherish it!